I wonder sometimes if writers read what they write. Not according to some of the manuscripts and query letters I receive for evaluation or editing. The author usually tells me that he or she has done a complete edit. They’ll say, “I’ve gone over it ten times, so it should be in good shape.” Or, “I just need you to do a quick edit—my wife, my college student son, my daughter’s teacher and a friend have already proofed it.” Or, “I’m an English major, but I just want to have another set of eyes see this before I send it to the publisher.”
But what do I find when I receive their carefully edited/proofed letter or manuscript? Here are a few examples:
• Words missing or misplaced. “I want to you see this,” instead of “I want you to see this.”
• Words misused. “I walked right passed James,” instead of “I walked right past James.” Or, “I past him in the hall,” instead of “I passed him in the hall.”
• Using the wrong words. “I’d like to get abut a dollar for that vase,” instead of “I’d like to get about a dollar for that vase.” Or “Jerry can here quit well,” instead of “Jerry can hear quite well.” Or “I don’t know were I pet my goat,” instead of “I don’t know where I put my coat.”
• Misused apostrophes. “I borrowed my mothers’ vase,” instead of “I borrowed my mother’s vase.” Or, “It’s his parent’s car,” instead of “It’s his parents’ car.” Or “He was born in the 1970’s,” instead of “He was born in the 1970s.”
• Misuse of capitalization. “I took my Mom and Dad to dinner,” instead of “I took my mom and dad to dinner.” Or “Mom said that she would tell dad,” instead of “Mom said that she would tell Dad.”
• Using the passive instead of the active voice. “The pink bicycle was being ridden by Mandy,” instead of “Mandy rode the pink bicycle.” Or “His resume was passed over by the committee,” instead of “The committee rejected his resume.”
• Mixing up tenses. “I want to attend the reception with Corky after I was making an appearance at the wedding with Jeff,” instead of “I will make an appearance at the wedding with Jeff and then attend the reception with Corky.” Or “I rode into the night on my paint and have fallen from the saddle after stopping for water,” instead of “I rode into the night on my paint. When I stopped for water, I fell from the saddle.”
• Using unnecessary words. “There was a time, many years ago, when Brenda had walked down the aisle and had said her vows,” instead of “Many years ago, Brenda was married.” Or “The last time he had gone to the movies, Lassie was playing,” instead of “The last time he went to the movies, Lassie was playing.” Or “James had thought about that for some time,” instead of “James thought about that for some time.”
• The subject doesn’t correspond with the action. “Barney and I walked down to the lake with lots of ripples because of the wind,” instead of “Barney and I walked down to the lake. The wind was blowing and creating ripples across the surface of the water.” Or “Susan’s dog jumped into the car carrying a bone with a luggage carrier on top,” instead of “Susan’s dog carried a bone as she jumped into the car with the luggage carrier on top.”
• List-sentences or bullets that don’t work. “I have 5 rules for safety while traveling, always: use a GPS, wear your money inside your clothing, don’t go out at night alone, do not make eye contact with strangers and never open your hotel room unlocked.” Can you see what’s wrong with this sentence? The last 3 items do not correspond.
And these are some of the editorial problems I’ve seen just this week.
I used my power point projector this morning during a presentation for a group of Cal Tech administrators meeting at the famous Ojai Valley Inn. Even though I don’t use the projector very much, everything went well. Everything worked correctly and the group seemed to enjoy my presentation. I spoke on the history of the Ojai Valley. I also pitched my book, The Right Way to Write, Publish and Sell Your Book. You never know when you’re going to meet a hopeful author who needs this information. If you want to become educated about the publishing industry and learn how to navigate successfully within it, purchase this book here:
http://www.matilijapress.com/rightway.html
Sign up today for my 8-week Book Proposal Course. Your book isn’t completed, yet? You haven’t even started writing it? There is no better time to write your book proposal that NOW—before you write the book or at least before you complete it. Writing the book proposal—your business plan for your book—should be the first thing that you do. Learn more about the course at:
http://www.matilijapress.com/course_bookproposal.htm
The new online course started Monday, but it is not too late to sign up. Sign up now and I’ll send you the first lecture and assignment. Monday, September 22, you’ll receive lesson number 2 in your email box. Contact me with questions: PLFry620@yahoo.com.