We’ve talked about this subject before. When you write a list of items, your amateur status as a writer glares through when you neglect to make each item conform. In other words, when you introduce a list, each item following should conform to the introduction. Here’s an example of a list that does not conform. “When you go to the beach, you’re likely to encounter, riptides, stingrays, go sailing, rent a surfboard and jellyfish,” part of your list does not conform. Each item should work off of the original introduction. You should be able to use each item correctly in a complete sentence with the introduction: “When you go to the beach, you’re likely to encounter riptides.” “When you go to the beach, you’re likely to encounter stingrays.” “When you go to the beach, you’re likely to encounter go sailing…” This does not work.
Sure, it seems elementary—it IS elementary. But many writers still goof up their “lists,” by inserting words, terms and partial sentences that just don’t fit. In order to correct this list, you might change it to, “riptides, stingrays, opportunities to go sailing, surfboard rentals and jellyfish.”
Here’s another example of a nonconforming list. “This book will benefit individuals:
• struggling with drug addiction
• looking to discover help with their addiction
• what their purpose in life will be
• interested to work through personal issues
• who want to change their behavior
• searching for a new identity”
Rather, I would suggest this: “This book will benefit individuals who are:
• struggling with drug addiction
• looking for help with their addiction
• seeking their purpose in life
• interested in working through personal issues
• ready to change their behavior
• searching for a new identity”
Do you see how you could take each of the items on this list and create complete sentences using the introduction? If you cannot create sentences that work using each of the items on the lists you’re constructing, you need to reframe those items—and maybe the introduction, as well.
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