Cats have a reputation for being aloof—rather unapproachable, standoffish, and even snooty. But if you’ve had many cats, you know that at least some of them can be quite friendly, even affectionate. This is especially evident when kitty is hungry or she’s requesting some sort of favor (“let me out,” “I want to sit in your lap,” “give me a bite of your chicken,” etc.).
Cats, however, will develop a friendship—sometimes a love affair—with a particular person. There are two of us in our household, and our cats will typically choose one or the other of us sometime after they arrive to live here. While they’re cordial and dependent on both of us, they will select one to be their BFF.
Now what about visitors? Does your cat welcome them or hide from them? Most of our cats have been hidey cats and I’m pretty sure they’ve learned this behavior from each other. Our Himalayan, Katy, was from a kitten mill, so I doubt she was introduced to many people before I found the darling at a pet shop. She became attached to me and was not about to let anyone else in on our sweet relationship—no how, no way. She was mine and I was hers.
Most of our subsequent cats were from feral backgrounds and were naturally skittish when 
it came to strangers. A stranger was anyone who came to the house, no matter how often they came, unless they spent the night. Max, for example, ran every time the doorbell rang. But if the guest stayed longer than six or eight hours, he decided they were okay and he’d allow them to see him, pet him, and even hold him, if they so desired. Lily, on the other hand, although she’s still wary of adult visitors, she has always adored children. Go figure.
Katy, the Himalayan, was afraid of everyone outside of those of us who lived here, until the time our next door neighbors came in for a visit. She had no fear of them and it finally occurred to me that she was used to seeing them through the window as she sat on my desk every day. She knew them and felt comfortable with them even the first time they came into our house.
My mother’s cat, Smokey (the cat I patterned the star in my Klepto Cat Mysteries after) is okay with all visitors, but there are a few he adores—I mean, he absolutely adores. One is their next door neighbor woman who comes to visit occasionally. He will sit or lay in front of her and just gaze in her direction the whole time she’s there. The other is my niece who spends the night with my mother regularly. Smokey seems to know when she’s coming for the evening as he will wait at the window and get excited when he sees her pull up. He greets her at the door and hangs close to her for petting. My mother was afraid she was losing her beloved cat’s affections to my niece. But she will tell us with a sense of pride, “He won’t get in her lap. He only climbs up in my lap.”
Cats aloof, distant? Nonsense. While our cats don’t wiggle excitedly when they see us or show their teeth as if smiling, like one of my grand dogs does, it’s hard to deny that when Lily curls up in my lap or bumps me with her head or just wants to be with me, that isn’t pure affection.
Announcement: Next week: June 13-15, Barbara Florio Graham will be GUEST BLOGGER on the topic of training your cat. Barbara won the $1,000 Sticky Paws award for the best article on training your cat in the 2002 Cat Writer’s Association writing competition. You’re going to be blown away to read how she trains her own cats and I couldn’t help but ask the question, why? Don’t miss this series of guest blogs.
